Whether you’re recently out of a long term relationship, divorced or just about reach the age where dating becomes important, you’re going to be shocked by what lies ahead. In recent years everything that you knew or used to understand about dating has changed completely. We’re into a whole new world now filled with fresh possibilities, and it’s mostly due to tech. Technology has completely flipped the concept on it’s head. These days, you don’t meet someone in a bar, you meet them online. Then, if you’re lucky you’ll move on to the bar and shortly after that the majority of your relationship will be back online. But what are trends shaping the modern dating world and what do you need to know if you’re preparing to step into the dating arena?
Single Parents Still Date
There are just over one million single parents on E-Harmony which should tell you that being a mum or dad doesn’t mean you have to stop going on dates. It also should tell anyone dating that you might find that the person you’re seeing has a kid. They won’t always tell you this straight away though, and you need to remember that the nuclear family is gone. It’s quite common for people to end up with someone who already had a child with another partner.
A Kiss It The Door?
Not anymore, around 66 percent of men and women have admitted to having a one night stand at one point or another. That means when you meet someone for a date, there’s a good chance they are planning on taking things all the way. They might have been planning this since they arranged to meet and you can do very little to actually change this. The date would have to be a disaster and even then, you might get lucky. Is this good news? Well, despite the fact that the number of people having sex first and asking questions later has increased it often leads to more. What is intended as a one night stand can lead to people taking things further. Half of the people who engaged in a one night stand admitted it led somewhere down the line. For some it even resulted in marriage.
Six Or More Partners
This is the new norm now according to a recent report by the dating website E-Harmony and we suppose, they would know. Although, there’s no denying that stat certainly plays into their favor. After all, if you’re dating six people at the same time you must be using some sort of dating website to keep everything organized. So, what does this mean? Well, it kind of means that cheating has become socially acceptable. Except, it’s not really considered cheating at all. These days, exclusive dating is like organ donation. You have to opt in and make sure that you’re very forward about it. Otherwise, you’ll be three months into a relationship that you think is serious when they announce they can’t make dinner because they’re going out with Trevor. There are ways to find out if your partner is making you suspicious. In this day and age, you can even set up a cheating test that can help you discern if you are dealing with this kind of person. No longer in doubt, you will be able to make a decision on what to do about your relationship.
Although, since people clearly think playing the field is acceptable you would expect them to be honest. Are they? Not as often as you’d hope and there are plenty of people who think they’re the one when actually, they’re one of many. It’s a brutal reality and one that you’ll have to come to terms with fast if you’re jumping back into the dating pool.
There is a slight problem with this trend. If you’re doing more than dating with the people you’re seeing you might find yourself playing a multiple choice game of guess the father if you accidentally get pregnant. Thankfully, you can get a paternity test while pregnant and make sure you’re knocking at the right door rather than going to five other people before you find your man.
Oh boy, do they matter. Anyone on Tinder will tell you that whether or not you score the right swipe is based on how you look. How do we know this? That’s all the information people will have about you. One picture, if they don’t like it they’ll swipe the other way in search of something better. This is the current state of dating. People will decide whether they want to spend time with you based on a five second glance at a photo. So, you better make it a good one we suppose since your prospects on a Friday night depend on it. Although, you might be pleased to hear that it’s not all about looks. For a long term relationship women admitted that they’d rather have an average looking well endowed man compared to a stunner who doesn’t have the gear underneath the hood. Yes, sadly, it’s still all about physical traits. Maybe things haven’t changed as much as we thought?
Exploring The Online World
Eighty percent of people lie on their online profiles. Oh dear, so “I own my own house” could actually mean “I live with my parents.” While “I’m single” might translate into “it’s complicated.” Someone can lie about anything online because there’s no way of proving them wrong. You might think you can verify their identity if you can view their social profile. Afraid not though because there’s plenty of fake Facebook accounts online as well as Twitter and even Instagram. There have been several high profile cases where the real person has found their pictures are being used to boost someone else’s online social profile. But lies aren’t your only problem online. You also need to think about whether you really know who you’re meeting. It can be dangerous. An example of this can be found on Tinder where around seven percent of users are between 13 and 17. If you think they’re honest about their age, think again. It’s just one of the legal issues with dating online. Of course, online dating has also brought a few advantages.
Long Distance Is Cute
32 percent of people in college are in a long distance relationship. That might mean that they have started dating someone who they met online. Or perhaps they moved away from the person they were dating. The point is that technology has made this a possibility. We can skype, instant message, Instagram and basically stay in touch no matter where we are in the world. So, long distance relationship doesn’t have the negative stereotypes it used to. While around forty-five percent of long distance relationships fall apart, that’s just under the divorce rate. So, looking it in this light, it’s not all that bad is it? In face many couples now prefer to be long distance because it gives them more independence and freedom while still feeling committed to someone.
Breaking Up Ain’t Hard To Do
The majority of relationships now end online which is both a positive and a negative. On the plus side, it saves you the pressure of breaking up with someone on the person. Although it is cutting out human interaction in a place where there arguably should be some. It’s also hard to put emotion into a tweet and adding emojis only makes things worse. But we understand why almost everyone is using social media for breakups. It avoids the ugly scene, the horrible situation and the cliche ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’
Everything Is Public
This won’t be true for all relationships. But, in some cases you may find you have an arguement with your partner on Facebook. Even if you have the argument in private you’ll see that they’re posting about it on their wall or sharing it on Twitter. Nothing is private anymore, not even your relationship. It’s a group activity and in a lot of cases is treated like entertainment. It’s fun to see another relationship implode, particularly if your own isn’t doing too hot. Not everyone airs their dirty laundry in public of course. But if they wanted to, social media means it’s easy and fast.
They’ll Know Everything About You Before You Meet
Even if you didn’t meet someone online, you can bet before they met you they Googled you. They’re looking for everything from your job to your personal life to your family to your friend circles. If you have even the slightest online footprint, they’ll find something. So be prepared for the person you’re meeting not to ask random questions but rather to circle around subjects they want more information on.
Ghosting Is Real
What exactly is ghosting? It’s when you’re dating someone when suddenly, they disappear. It’s like they were never even a part of your life. When you search for them online, you’ll find that you’ve either been blocked. Or, that their social profiles have disappeared as well! It can quite disconcerting but we hasten to point out it’s become quite normal. Basically, it’s a way to breakup with someone if you can’t even be bothered to send them a text. So, if you find that one minute you’re in a serious relationship and the next they’re gone, don’t run after them. They were never worth your time to begin with.
As you can see, the dating world is definitely different. But if you open yourself to new possibilities and are prepared for the challenges you can survive and find your perfect match.